The Use of Proper English

‘Different strokes…’

On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation that was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction. After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his certificate to the medicine man and wondered what he was in for. The old man handed a potion to him, and with a firm grip on his shoulder, warned, “This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful and then say ‘1-2-3.’ When you do, you will become manlier than you have ever been in your life and you can perform as long as you want.”

The man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked “How do I stop the medicine from working?

Your partner must say ‘1-2-3-4′” he responded, “But when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon.”

He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he took off his clothes and said “1-2-3.” Immediately he was the manliest of men. His wife was excited with hot passion and began throwing off her clothes and then she asked “What was the 1-2-3 for?

And that folks is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we end up with a dangling participle.

Published by The Jackson Press ~ and slightly altered with an (in)appropriate image by some pervert at The Federal Observer

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