ALL SINGLE MOTHERS SHOULD READ THIS
In early June 2011, I met a strikingly lovely young woman who was bartending at a local restaurant and we struck up a conversation. I’ll call her name Sarah, after the biblical tale of Abram and his wife, Sarah. You’ll see the connection as this story unfolds.
Sarah was about 26 at the time, 5’9” and in perfect physical condition. She had a slightly dark complexion, contrasted by her big, bright blue eyes that were framed by gorgeous long, dark auburn hair that fell just past her shoulders. Her smile alone would light up an entire room, along with all who entered there, and her regular customers were legion.
But on this early warm Spring afternoon there were few if any patrons present, so Sarah and I had the opportunity to share stories and experiences. I learned she was divorced and had a daughter about age 7. For some strange reason, she also revealed to me she’d been a stripper for a short while, and this initially put me off because I once provided insurance to strippers and prostitutes, and I know all too well the baggage those women tend to carry with them.
I never mix business with pleasure, and because I was strictly doing business with those strippers and prostitutes (and never a customer) they were quite open about discussing their lifestyle with me. They are often very good mothers and have excellent relationships with their girl friends, but where it comes to men they are sociopaths second to none — and for good reason: In their line of work, they would always see nothing but the worst in the men who would patronize such establishments. Married men would ask for sexual favors they would never ask their wives for, and in the case of strippers, men would sometimes make disparaging remarks about their bodies when dancing. It is a psychologically traumatizing experience for most of those women. Most of the women involved in that sordid business are single mothers who are driven into that world by men who abandoned them, leaving them destitute, or in some cases by men who insist they do those jobs while they sit home like some pimp playing video games and smoking pot. All in all, those women develop a very negative opinion of men to the point that all men are guilty and can never be proved innocent, which makes finding a decent man for a lifelong relationship nearly impossible.
Shortly after meeting Sarah, I “friended” her on Facebook, but I didn’t pay much more attention to her until one day I read an entry from her that literally touched my heart. She wrote about how happy she was that she didn’t abort her daughter, and about how much joy the little girl brought to her life. That is when I wanted to know more about Sarah, because regardless of the fact she’d been a stripper, this lady had inadvertently revealed to me she had a very sweet and loving soul.
I’ve always had a soft place in my heart for young, single mothers, whether they are single due to the untimely death of their spouse, a divorce or simply because they became pregnant out of wedlock, mainly because it is so very hard for such a woman to find a good man willing to marry her and raise another man’s children. Instead, unscrupulous men will shower these vulnerable women with gifts, false affection and lies just long enough to bed them, then abandon them the moment they suggest taking their relationship to the next step. If the single mother is attractive, she’ll just experience even more unscrupulous men making advances toward her with the same end result, and if the single mom comes from a questionable background (like being a former stripper) the chance of her ever finding a lifelong mate is almost zero.
As time went on, Sarah and I would converse at length about her personal life, her wants and her dreams, and as I delicately peeled back the layers of her person, I found this young woman to have almost the same qualities and values as my own wife of 35 years, and I can honestly say that after a time I came to love this young lady no differently than the love I have for my own wife. What I found was a remarkable and strong young lady and mother who wanted a traditional family relationship more than anything else, and because I had come to love her so very much, I wanted that for her as well.
Bear in mind that I am nearly 65 years old and very happily married, so what I wanted for Sarah would require finding her the perfect mate who would love her and see her as I do, and the only possible way I could imagine doing that would require the help of God. So I sat down and wrote Sarah this personal message on Facebook:
June 27, 2012
One of the things I noticed about God is that he seems to be very sympathetic toward loneliness, and if asked, he will bring a man and woman together who are matched better than any online dating service can ever offer, because only God can search out the hearts and bring compatible partners together.
When you told me about the incident in Eugene, when a man paid for a lap dance and then left because your bright countenance made it impossible for him to look at you, that was God. As I recall, just prior to that encounter, you had prayed asking for guidance, and for all we know, that man may have had evil intentions for you.
What that means, Sarah, is that God regards you as his child, and I think I understand why, because you have a very gentle, sweet and pretty soul. For God to have manifested himself to you the way he did, it was dramatic and very unusual, and it also means he is willing to listen to you. But remember that you asked him first, because God rarely acts on your behalf without you asking his assistance through prayer.
When you pray, remember that you are talking to your father who loves you and wants you to prosper and be content with your life. So wait until you have the house to yourself, and when you pray, talk to God in an audible voice. Don’t repeat your request over and over like he can’t hear you for two reasons: First, God knows what you are going to ask before you get around to asking him, and second; repeating your request over and over is downright irritating to him.
But you DO have to ask him.
Also when you pray, be sure to thank God for all the things you are truly thankful for, like your good health, the fact you have a job and for the gift of your little girl — or just a beautiful day. If God answers your prayer in the affirmative, don’t forget to thank him or he‘ll get his feelings hurt. If God answers in the negative, thank God! You see, God can see the future and he can read the minds of those who do not have your best interests at heart, so if he does not grant your prayer request, try to remember God is just protecting you from yourself.
Finally, be certain to end your prayer by telling God you are praying to him in Jesus’ name, because no one can come to God except through Jesus. God is somewhat forgiving of those just getting to know him and don’t really know how to pray, but he does expect you to learn.
So if you ask God for a perfect life-partner, you don’t need to tell God the details because he knows your heart and that of your mate far better than you do. Does it work? I’ll answer that with this question: How do you think I found Liz?
In closing, what do you think is the most valuable possession you could ever own? Is it unlimited wealth? Is it long-lasting good health? Is it a wonderful marriage/relationship? A high-paying job? No, it is none of the above. The most valuable thing you can possess in this life — and the next — is spiritual wisdom, because if you have spiritual wisdom, you will have all the things listed here and then some. The problem with advanced spiritual wisdom is that in the wrong hands, it can be used for evil purposes, so when you pray, ask God to grant you all the wisdom you can be entrusted with, but again, you have to ask him for it. Once you have prayed for this mystical wisdom, crack open a Bible and study the words of Proverbs and Ecclesiastes because God will allow you to absorb and understand as much as he can currently trust you with, and as time goes by and you ask for and receive greater wisdom, he will allow it. That kind of wisdom, spiritual wisdom, will allow you to make correct decisions, preserve your health, avoid evil people, and become prosperous beyond anything you might have envisioned.
Spiritual wisdom is more valuable than fine gold, because it cannot be spent up and it only grows larger.
I hope this message came at a time you needed it most.
I love you, Sarah, and more than anything else, I want you to be happy.
Sarah seemed to accept my message very well. As it turns out, she had been raised and home-schooled in a Christian home with solid conservative values. While I don’t know for certain that Sarah acted on my suggestion, I began including Sarah in my evening prayers, asking God to bless her with a man perfectly suited to her, because I learned early-on that God favored the prayers of those praying for the benefit of others, rather than always praying for themselves.
Sarah and I stayed in close contact, and in May 2013, Sarah told me she had met a wonderful man who had literally swept her off her feet. He is a businessman earning over six figures, divorced with no children and owned a home in a city some 200 miles away. In the course of their whirlwind relationship, Sarah revealed to me she had conceived his child. Further, this wonderful man wanted Sarah to be his wife, to raise her daughter as his own and it would be up to her if she chose to work or not, because she certainly would not need to.
WOW! This was God’s work and a modern-day miracle every step of the way, and I knew it better than anyone because I found my own wife through prayer 36 years ago. The joy, excitement and happiness that overtook Sarah literally made my day, and although Sarah would have to move away and I would miss her terribly, I couldn’t thank God often enough for answering my prayers for her. In such a short time, Sarah’s life — and her daughter’s life — had changed from no real future to a bright and promising one. The whirlwind romance took all of Sarah’s friends by surprise, but it didn’t surprise me at all, because I had seen God do this before.
Some small-minded people I have encountered since then have suggested Sarah got pregnant deliberately to snare a sugar-daddy, but I know differently. First, after Sarah’s daughter was born, she’d been told she had less than a fifty-percent chance of ever getting pregnant again, which is why I named her Sarah for the purposes of this tale, because Sarah, the wife of Abram (later called Abraham) was too old to bear children and yet through God had miraculously conceived and bore Abram a son. The fact that our Sarah got pregnant at all was a miracle in and of itself, and I can’t help but believe this love child helped to seal the deal.
Never underestimate God, because he can do anything you ask. Get to know God. Learn to trust God and his son, Jesus, for while mankind will lie, disappoint and betray you, God never leaves your side once you ask him to walk with you through life, and God will still be with you when all others have abandoned and spitefully used you. In the final analysis, God is the only person who will always be there for you. Forever.
Carl F. Worden
Southern Oregon Militia
January 29, 2014