Welcome to “Who Wants to Be President” America’s newest reality show where we bombard contestants with insipid questions from a panel of intellectual pigmies. Watch these men and the obligatory woman pander to the audience and dance around the questions in the hopes of advancing to the “Popularity” round. This initial phase consists of several “ranking” rounds wherein the contestants vie for position and funding potential.
Answers need not be relevant, must bash the current administration frequently; and must not disclose any plans (as if they really exist) to resolve current issues. Contestants may pummel each other for any reason in the trump move called “self aggrandizement.” Audience participation is discouraged however; the moderator may assist the contestant when he or she stumbles. Contestants are free to interject comments while others attempt to answer their questions. The official rules forbid interruption; we all know that the elected officials don’t follow any rules so why bother.
The first round determines which of these contestants advance to the “Popularity” round. This round parades these selected contestants across the country where well meaning and totally uninformed citizens cast worthless ballots for their favorites based solely on looks and the candidate’s ability to strum the conservative strings of the constituents. This all important round selects the contestants that advance to the “Convention” round.
If they survive round 2 they will be paraded before the nation in the “Convention Round” where the Masters of the Political Machine make the final selection. The preselected winner will face off against the 2008 Champion and President of the United States. It is vital that the public remember they have absolutely no bearing on the outcome of this contest.
The winner is predetermined before the beginning of the program. This is contest is designed to distract the public from the more important situation in this country and is meant to obfuscate not inform.
Friend, don’t miss a single moment of this riveting expose’ of American Politics and Power.
November 13, 2011
~ The Author ~
Charles R. Dickens was born in 1951, is a veteran of the Vietnam, for which he volunteered, and the great-great grandson of the noted author, whose name he shares.
He is a fiercely proud American, who still believes this is the greatest country on the planet, with which we’ve lost control and certainly our direction. He grew up in moderate financial surrounding; were not rich by any stretch, but didn’t go hungry – his incredibly hard working father saw to that. As most from that era, he learned about life from his father, whose story would take too long to tell, other than to say that, he is also a fiercely proud American; a WWII and Korean war, veteran Marine.
Charlie was educated in the parochial system which, demanded that you actually learn something, and have capability to retain it before you advance. He attended several universities in pursuit of a bachelor’s degree, and chased the goose further to a master’s, and has retained some very definite ideas about education in this country.
In addition, Charlie is a professional (struggling) blues guitar and vocalist – a musician. This is his therapy career. Nothing brings him as much joy as playing music, and he wishes that he could make a living at it… maybe some day!
That’s Charlie… a proud, opinionated, and passionate American.
Mr. Dickens can be reached for comment at firstname.lastname@example.org