A Change of Tact…
The following is satire only:
At a recent checkup my physician told me that I am suffering from an often overlooked and misdiagnosed ailment; overexposure to stupidity. The symptoms of overexposure to stupidity are: headaches, muscle fatigue, frequent insomnia, sudden fits of anger, and an uncontrollable urge to slap people.
My physician explained that stupidity is like a toxin and when you are repeatedly exposed to it, even in small doses, it accumulates in your body until you begin showing the symptoms of overexposure.
There is no cure for overexposure to stupidity, but it can be treated, and managed if caught in the early stages. Treatment may be given in prescription form, or you may self-medicate, although many methods of self-medication are considered criminal offenses in some states.
Overexposure to stupidity can also be managed by removing the source of stupidity, but once again, killing each and every stupid person you encounter is considered illegal, and not a practical method of dealing with the source of your ailment. You may find that just ignoring the source of your infection is the easiest way to deal with it, unless of course your situation prevents you from doing so. In that case medication may be your only alternative.
People at high risk for overexposure to stupidity are usually those who have a clearly defined set of morals, professional and personal ethics, while at the same time possessing a strong sense of what is right and wrong. Exposing oneself to lazy people may also compound and intensify the symptoms of overexposure to stupidity.
Overexposure to stupidity is a disease that can be managed if recognized in its early stages. Left undetected it could lead to suicidal thoughts, or a sudden urge to slap the living shit out of everyone you encounter.
July 15, 2011
~ The Author ~
Neal Ross can be reached for comments at bonsai@syix.com.
If you wish to comment, please go to Neal’s blog so that others may partake of your wit and your wisdom as well… http://www.zombie-slayer.com/neal
Scuba-You need some more you can come to my workplace and you’ll get your fill.
Thanks Neal, I needed that.
It is akin to the effort to try to teach Pigs to sing. You waste your valuable time and you merely annoy the Pigs.
Wrong, There’s no hope for congress…..
Ah, the defenses needed to reject and repel the transmission of stupidity from a duplicitous neanderthal. They are many, and become more effective as you employ them, again and again. The game of word association can be most beneficial. Remember, truth does not affect the carrier of this disease, for the subject person is so firmly ensconced in his/her beliefs that their skull is inpenetrable. So, do as they do; pick up their side of the argument, but with words that are beyond their capability to understand, such as salubrious, infectuous, and lucrative, to name a few. Ask them to delineate how their position fits any of those words, incrementally. They will “blither.”