Pretend for a moment you are witnessing a fancy ball where all the women are wearing exquisite black dresses. Then in the middle of all these people your eye falls upon a single women wearing a bright yellow dress. She would stand out like a sore thumb, her yellow dress a glaring inconsistency among the black dressed women.

That is similar to the way my brain functions when I read, or hear people say things; inconsistencies stand up and scream at me for their attention. I call it my bullshit meter and the more inconsistent the statement, the higher my meter reads.

My bullshit meter hasn’t always been so highly attuned to these inconsistencies; it has had to be taught how to notice them. In that way it is similar to SPAM filters on an e mail program; you have to teach it to catch words, or phrases, that are common in the SPAM e-mail you receive. However, once you have your filters set correctly, they will catch a good portion of the SPAM e-mail and send it where it belongs, straight to the trash folder.

The human brain is not that different, it has to be trained to think so that the person can recognize bullshit when they hear it. In that respect, it is not unlike a muscle which has to be used to retain its ability to function as intended. If you do not spend much time thinking, your brain will atrophy and you will be unable to think. Sure you may believe you are thinking, but you are actually being spoon fed information and not actually processing it, or comparing it to known facts. It is in cases like this that people are easily misled and beguiled, fooled into accepting things that, had they been able to think on their own, they would never have accepted.

When I watch the news, or hear a politician give a speech, my bullshit meter pegs out. Although cluttered, my brain retains data from many sources. Sometimes it is from things I have read, and sometimes it is from things people have said. However, when someone says something which contradicts something I’ve heard or read, a red flag goes up and my bullshit meter screams out BULLSHIT! I don’t actually scream out bullshit, unless of course I am at home watching TV by myself, but I notice it just as readily as I would notice the woman wearing the yellow dress in that imaginary ballroom.

And it is not just politicians and news anchors that set off my bullshit meter, it is everyone I encounter. I cannot just flip a switch and turn it off; it is running 24/7 and always notifies me when someone is feeding me a line of bullshit.

At times it can be quite annoying, getting these impulses to tell people to shut up, or just tell the damn truth for once. Imagine what it would be like to be able to hear people’s thoughts. Sure you might think it would be neat, at first. But after a while it would drive you crazy hearing every thought of every person in a room. It would make you want to lock yourself up, away from people, so that you didn’t have to hear their thoughts.

da yellow dress...

People often wonder why I am so quiet or that I appear to be frowning so much. It is because my ears pick up conversations and all I hear is bullshit. It drives me crazy and I just want it to stop. Even my wife wonders why I don’t socialize any more, go to parties with her. It is because of the mindless drivel that passes for conversation and more importantly, the bullshit that they spew out of their mouths. I am better off living the life of a hermit than confronting people and making my wife uncomfortable, and unwelcome at future parties.

I see these inconsistencies everywhere I go. I go to work and the place I work has rules and guidelines that are supposed to be followed, and I see people not following them all the time. People don’t do their jobs as expected of them, and nothing is said or done to them. Workers will wander off and go chat with their friends when their work area is a pigs sty and nobody tells them to go clean up their mess. Instead, someone who is conscientious will go do it for them just because they cannot stand to see it any longer.

Why is this mediocrity tolerated? Why are people who either refuse to do the job, or are unable do it kept on the payroll? The job qualifications for an entry level position at my place of employment states that among other things, a potential employee must be able to follow verbal and written instructions, and pick up 50 pounds routinely. Yet I have trained people who give me a look like a cow would if I were trying to explain algebra to it, a dull glazed over look that says, “What the hell are you talking about?”

It doesn’t matter that the company has policies regarding work performance, because they are not enforced, just as our nation has immigration laws that are not being enforced by our elected officials. What has become of our nation where it is filled with people who accept bullshit, sub-par performance, and dishonesty?

I have heard people tell me that I am harsh, that I have no feelings towards others who are less capable than me. That is not necessarily true. I do, however expect people to give it their best in whatever endeavor they are attempting. I admire and respect competence wherever I see it; in fact I expect it. I gravitate towards those who are as able and competent at their jobs, as I am at mine.

That is why I despise my government. Each of them took an oath to uphold the Constitution, and each of them has violated that oath. Either by willful violations, or utter incompetence, they have brought our nation to its current condition.

It is why when I hear one of them speak, I gauge their words against what the Constitution says, or what our founding fathers wrote, and if the two don’t jive, them it sets off my bullshit meter, which seems to be happening with increasing frequency.

This country could be turned around, and quickly, if people would just stop believing everything they are told by the news, and by their elected officials. If people would just start exercising that grey matter between their ears they would easily be able to detect the lies and bullshit that they are being told. But no, they prefer to watch TV, whether it be sports, reality TV, or some other nonsense. There are people who cannot read a three page article I write, but who can spend 4 or 5 hours in front of a TV watching a NASCAR race.

In the movie Gladiator, there was a scene when Senators Gracchus and Falco were discussing the games at the Coliseum. Senator Gracchus said, “I think he knows what Rome is. Rome is the mob. Conjure magic for them and they’ll be distracted. Take away their freedom and still they’ll roar. The beating heart of Rome is not the marble of the senate, it’s the sand of the coliseum. He’ll bring them death – and they will love him for it.”

That is how I see America today. People are so concerned with being entertained that they neglect to keep themselves informed and educated in regards to matters of much more importance. When they are told the truth they cannot accept it because it goes against all the lies and bullshit they have been spoon fed by the supposed experts they see on TV. It is also one of the reasons I have pretty much lost hope that our country will ever regain the glory it once held. The other reason can best be explained if you read an article written by my good friend, Jim Schwiesow.

Put the two together and you have a recipe for disaster, the disaster being the downfall of America. Call me a fool, a conspiracy theorist, or just plain crazy, but my bullshit meter doesn’t often lie, and it is telling me that this country is done for.

May 1, 2011

~ The Author ~
Neal Ross can be reached for comments at bonsai@syix.com. Visit Neal’s Blog at http://www.zombie-slayer.com/neal