Hot off the grill – it’s the endangered spotted Owl! Come one, come all to the great smorgasbord of dainty delights. Come and munch and watch the Communitarians scream with horror as we shatter the bones and chew the delicious morsels of meat that this endangered Owl has to offer.

After beating the crap out of it with our Baseball bats, we’ll stuff it into a bun – after awl, it tastes jests lahks Chicken!

During these Holy Days, I encourage all of my readers to at least piss off thousands – if not millions of socialist idiots and commence munching on every endangered species available – regardless of age or condition of health: We are the Doctors – not the damn government.

We Care Like Obamacare
We are just as concerned for the health of endangered species as Obama is concerned for the elderly. We promise that every species can keep their DOCTOR – Doctor Munchin’ Chomps, that will crush their little heads in, that is: Perhaps we can even clone the little bastards and munch them as soon as they are born giving way to more screams of bloody horror as we pour on the “Thousand Island” dressing and stuff it in a bun made out of recycled Eagle feathers.

I ain’t got no illegal Fleas in my Navidad!
What? I’m thinking, I’m thinking…

WHEN in the course of human events, when the Government turns evil and all live in tents; the people should rise against what Globalism invents, and take back their Government and restore Common Sense. They should rise against Communitarians and Collectivists in power, and restore our Constitution and Bill of Rights that they soured. And before you shut down Guantanamo Bay, ship out the Politicians – for that’s where they’ll stay. And ship out Elite bankers and Lawyers with much; and don’t forget the Media and Corporate Communists and such. Now grab both Parties, left wing and right; they’re both really evil, so ship them at night; and when Cuba complains about the excess of people, then ship them to Mexico inside of a burrito.

Let US set a record in the hall of fame – to bring both parties that are insane; and dig the flesh of screaming fowls – to gulp them down into our bowels.

Save The Damn Planet Yo!
Yeah, baby, yeah! We’ll save YOU a plate – chocked full of sweet meat stuffed into a toasted bun of culinary delight – only five bucks! Hey! Guess what socialist idiot? We gonna fire up the grill powered by five hundred aerosol cans to cook these little Chickenlips – yup! We gonna JACK your Ozone UP your wazzu while we bash your baby seals in the head with a 50 pound Mallet.

Praise The Lord and pass the ammunition
Since you ATHEISTS want to throw Jesus out of Christmas – let US Kelp Jew! It’s no longer “Merry Christmas,” its MERRY KISS MY ASS; and we will send you a message you will never forget – you Communitarian assholes!

Are we hungry yet?
Yeah baby! Keep raising those food prices and soon your favorite pets will find themselves on OUR dinner tables. Perhaps after awhile we will all turn to cannibalism – by loving our enemies a little more than you think!

Chest-Pork roastin’ on an open fire!
We look forward to laughing so hard at Christmas time that the beaks off the spotted Owl Burger’s shoot from our nostrils and stick to your walls as a lively souvenir. Everyone should laugh hard during these Holy Days and make beak soup spray all over – it just drives the damn liberals crazy ladies and gentlemen.

“Just raise that hammer and whack that skull; my kitchen knives are never dull.” – Whackamole Pete

“The more they scream the more we love em!” – Starvin Marvin

“Our revenge is nice and sweet; as we devour your liberal meat; endangered species we consume; plus socialist idiots we got the room.” – Rollin Sharptooth

“Illegal Aliens don’t have to run; they make lunchtime lots of fun; we roll them up all Taco tight and eat them by the campfire light.” – Senior Munchos

“Yo brutha, I be luvinn’ demz Spotted Owl burgers. De fus time Ahz putz de barbeque sauce on dat bird, I dun sez to mahselfs, ‘Damn! that mutha be tastin jes likes de chickn n’ corn bread!’” – Kareem Abdullah

“It’s safer to sleep with a sober Christian Cannibal than a drunken Socialist idiot” – Reverend Chewchew

Lettuce pray has been soaked in chlorine for a week. Behold Lettuce Prey!

Now with that thought in mind, don’t you think its better to have JESUS CHRIST in Christmas instead of that “Happy Holiday’s” thing you lust for every year?

Hey! I got a great idea. Lets fill a room full of idiots that will applaud to ending the extension of unemployment checks that they have paid dearly into for years with their hard-earned cash ñ oops! Glenn Beck the Masonic Mormon has already done that. Lets go kill Grandma after we shuck down a gallon of Rum; and after that, we can go beat our wives to death as an early Christmas gift.

Tis the season to BE folly, let’s shoot Santa – oh by golly!

Keep pushing it you Communitarian dung heaps and soon The Christian Cannibal Association will revive itself and we will commence munching on every socialist idiot we can find.

“Who will rise up for me against the evildoers? or who will stand up for me against the workers of iniquity?” – Psalms 94:16 KJV

It’s your choice America. Either its “Merry Christmas,” or “MERRY KISS MY ASS” is just around the corner. We be watchin’ JEW!

Notice:
Numerous animals were mercilessly slaughtered and their little skulls were bashed the heck in making this article. I hope every socialist idiot takes heed before all hell breaks loose ñ whatís good for the Goose, is to bash in itís gander; and if you donít like that, stay tuned for moe slander.

Published in the December 14, 2010 issue of Shock And Awe Graphics. @ntiCopyright © 2001 – 2010 Louis Turner. Republication allowed with this notice and hyperlink intact.